today, after a two month hiatus, i have decided to blog about something close to my heart, something i feel very strongly about: kids.be not mistaken, my passion for this subject is singularly negative. children! they are the bane of every woman's existence! wanna have kids? think thrice! now i dont say this from personal experience (no effing way), and this is solely my opinion only, so dont take my word for it and no offense. children and baby lovers, do leave now! that aside, let us discuss the nightmares that are children. i count it my civic duty to inform and educate the masses regarding the demon-like qualities of children before its too late (in this case, the masses = the people who read my blog - a grand total of about three. sigh)
how can anybody in their right minds tolerate such caterwauling and carrying-on so? the overwhelming stench of baby vomit and poop?! how they annoyingly manage to trip you up by being so midgety? how they always seem to know the exact wrong thing to say?
and then we move on to their older years - lets say, 5 to 7. now, has nobody noticed that kids these days are extremely rude and ill-behaved? why? because parents are having babies at such a young age! these mothers, they are still clubbing! thus the children, they club too! -slight hysteria- and we come to the main issue: the parents! now of course there are parents who are the epitome of knowledge and raise their kids the right way. however it seems like increasingly, the number of badly behaved children keep growing.
case file #1: the mrt train - why do these parents allow their children to run helter-skelter and annoy every commuter on board? because they dont know any better! they can only sit and gaze at their children proudly with adoration shining in their eyes. they are hynotised! they cannot see that their child has just kicked someone clambering onto a seat! as if that were cause to be proud.
case file #2: the successful careerwoman - if you were a working woman whose job required her to travel all over the world doing exceedingly dangerous things (think: crocodile huntress), how in the world would you lug your baby with you? how would you have a successful career? would you pull a steve irwin (bless his soul), and dangle your baby over a crocodile in the hopes that she would one day become the next crocodile huntress too?
now, having exhausted most that i can think of on the negativity of children (do email me if you've more to add, we can always form a fan club -raising eyebrows suggestively-), let us proceed to the pros..
..come on! you didnt really think there were pros to this did you?!
p/s: alright fine! i will grant you that they can be kinda, sort of, only a teeny-weeny itty-bitty bit cute (under 3 years old), but only like, this much! -holding my thumb and fore finger together tightly- and very rarely! also, they have certain useful qualities. for example, you may sell your baby for cash if you are hard up. im kidding! dont freak out! and when they grow up, you can sipphon loads of money off of them. on second thought, very useful. might want to consider having a kid then.
note: purely my opinion only.
posted by stephie @ 3:44 PM
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p/s: alright fine! i will grant you that they can be kinda, sort of, only a teeny-weeny itty-bitty bit cute (under 3 years old), but only like, this much! -holding my thumb and fore finger together tightly- and very rarely! also, they have certain useful qualities. for example, you may sell your baby for cash if you are hard up. im kidding! dont freak out! and when they grow up, you can sipphon loads of money off of them. on second thought, very useful. might want to consider having a kid then.
note: purely my opinion only.